Careful You
In 2014 I began a slow slide towards completing an era in my life. My career with Sony Pictures Television (FKA Sony Pictures Television International and Columbia Tristar International Television) was starting to become somewhat played out for me. 2014 was five years on from the merging of the television production, marketing, technology, and sales worlds for the studio. Previous to that the businesses for domestic and international television had been two very separate, almost disparate businesses. Two distinct entities, cultures, and mindsets suddenly thrust together in a corporate world in the fall of 2009. By 2014 there had been blending and some cohesion, but there were still some levels of work structure or alignment amongst the old guard for each of the former kingdoms.
2014 was also the year of the nasty Korean cyber attack & hack. The week of Thanksgiving saw an odd-looking skull showing up on computers around the world, taking over the system as a whole and infecting almost all parts of the business rendering Sony Pictures somewhat paralyzed as a whole. To say the experience was eerie would be an understatement. We were enveloped with a shroud of helplessness and built-in fear about what was taken, completely affecting the laymen, as a result of what was gone or no longer available to do what we were did daily.
At the time I was a Vice President for Digital Marketing and Technology Operations. The role was all about marketing with websites, videos, and art, all created with computers and assets. On that Monday morning (November 24, 2014) I came into the office around 6:30 am. I had an obsessive-compulsive trait of getting up extra early and driving to the studio in Culver City extra early to beat the traffic and get a head start on the many directions my role would eventually pull me in during the day. At 6:30 AM nobody was there. It was, in its dysfunctional way, bliss.
As I powered up both my Macbook Pro and PC laptop to assess various aspects of the business, it became apparent that the PC had fallen victim to the hackers. I remember contacting the studio IT personnel I would call when building issues occurred and informing some while further providing information to others. The hack had already hit Europe considering their day began hours before ours. This was beginning to be known but opening up to be a wider issue with the newly revealed evidence in Los Angeles.
It took months and months to find our business back to any semblance of normalcy after that event. We were initially unable to use any of our computers, email, or any drives that held our assets and were used for our business regularly. I was in charge of a business-to-business website at the time that became suspect as would anything else stored on our servers. We could not do anything for our clients that would normally be done, and we were forced to discover workarounds for how the world of clients would continue to do their business with us.
The holiday season of 2014 ground to a halt as we scrambled to rebuild our systems from the ground up. It served as a poignant reminder of my growing realization that despite my passion for technology and continuous learning, I struggled to find my place within the confines of the corporate structure. Perhaps it was the elevation into being an executive that had happened for me the year before, but it seemed at all times that every ounce of creativity or advancement we would try to produce would be marred, stalled, or stagnated by the constantly drifting world of budgets, egos, and constantly shifting priorities. By 2014 I was always in meetings. I went to meetings to sit and discuss what meetings were going to be necessary. I had update meetings, staff meetings, executive meetings, one-on-one meetings, lunch meetings, and breakfast meetings, and every one of them added to the list of things to do and shoved active processes into different avenues. So many bosses, so many changing urgencies, and so many promises made that could not be kept due to fluctuating budgets and changing structures. For several years I worked hundreds and hundreds of hours but often felt like the hamster on a wheel not quite achieving any of his goals or moving the dial in the eyes of an expecting audience.
Granted, we did get things done, but it always seemed overdue and unappreciated because there would always be more anticipated due to the timing. I became tired of the idea of the job, while still holding on to the creativity and those who worked so hard to try and achieve our goals within the ranks below the decision-makers. We did accomplish a lot of spectacular projects with the amazing talents that worked with and around me for all those years.
Amidst the turmoil, music remained my sanctuary. Whether in my office, car or through my headphones, it provided solace and inspiration. As continued to seek out alternative sounds, as has been my inclination. I had been listening to songs from the 1980s in the car for a couple of years because I felt there was a disconnect before my being able to find the proper stations and outlets to continue exploring what was new out there. Somewhere in 2013 or 2014 I finally discovered stations like Alt Nation and Sirius XMU, the two Sirius XM channels I still listen to today. Alt Nation is more of a step towards the alternative acts that have begun to catch on in the mainstream, but don’t quite fit Billboard charts or pop stations. Sirius XMU, my personal favorite, highlights emerging artists and eclectic indie performers.
It was during this period that I discovered the band TV on the Radio, whose distinct style resonated deeply with me. TV on the Radio was from Brooklyn, NY, and had been around for almost 15 years when I discovered them. This was the album that brought them to my attention. The most beautiful of the band’s sounds was this chapter’s “Careful You,” a sound that I remember swooning to because it was so pretty. From the same LP called “Seeds,” they had also released a song called “Trouble” that I still cannot stop singing in my head out of nowhere. The one other trigger I got from this album was the first single release called “Happy Idiot,” which you can still hear along with the other two on good alternative stations. Please check these sounds out below along with two others from earlier TV on the Radio albums (“Staring at the Sun, and “Dancing Choose”.
The “Seeds” album was released on November 18, 2014, not even a week before the Korean Hack of Sony Pictures. Is my trigger about that event? Not necessarily. It’s more about the solace and serenity the music of TV on the Radio provided me then during that part of my life. The band still gives me those positive vibes today.
Don’t know
How I feel
What’s the deal?
Is it real?
When’s it gonna go down?
Can we talk? Can we not?
Well, I’m here
Won’t you tell me right now?
And I’ll care for you
Oh, careful you